Time For A New Rant: Bad Parking, And The Misappropriated Sperm Responsible

Freehand

Bump-Shizzy
Apr 7, 2013
2,124
11,001
113
17
Bitches Be Trippin
#1
So sometime last month I picked up my little girl from school and had to stop by the store. I pull into a spot and start to get out when a lady in a Kia careens into the spot next to me, at an impossible angle like the lines on the pavement were just mere suggestions. She sat there oblivious on her phone while I sat there staring a hole through her window. She was parked so jacked up (6" from my daughter's door) that I had to get her out the other side. The whole time I was doing this the mouth breather never looked up, and couldnt be bothered. Needless to say I was seething at this act of self absorbtion but decided not to make a scene, cause you know, kids.

So I went into said store and did my business ( you know, tampax and beer) and exited the store. To my utter amazement a different Kia was parked next to me in an even more egregious fashion and I was beside myself. As I loaded my kid through the wrong door, muttering obscenities, I vowed to leave this second bitch a note. Rummaging around in my glovebox netted me an expired registration and nothing else. Losing my shit at this point I roll away, without justice or recourse.

I vow eternal revenge and as soon as I got home I got on vistaprint and created these, 500 of them showed up a week later:

20181105_152611.jpg
So as a public service, any Hawgger that pms me an addy will get ten of these "civillian parking tickets" in a plain manilla envelope, gratis. Use them with glee and extreme prejudice gentleman.:trophy:

PS, the qr code on the back Rickrolls that ass......
 

thomas1

┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
Staff member
Oct 22, 2012
23,293
158,856
113
Fredericksburg, Va
#2
Lol.

Pro tip: If you knock the mirror off of the side of their vehicle it gives a little more room. :thumbsup:
 

Freehand

Bump-Shizzy
Apr 7, 2013
2,124
11,001
113
17
Bitches Be Trippin
#3
Lol.

Pro tip: If you knock the mirror off of the side of their vehicle it gives a little more room. :thumbsup:

Tryin to be a good boy these day T, I'm currently limiting myself to only the most necessary heavy misdemeanors and felonies....
 

thomas1

┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
Staff member
Oct 22, 2012
23,293
158,856
113
Fredericksburg, Va
#5
Be sure to use one of them Mexican Drank bottles with the good heavy glass.

Fanta is plastic & cheaper these days.
I usually just use a hip, tough for a fat boy to squeeze through. ;)
 

thomas1

┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
Staff member
Oct 22, 2012
23,293
158,856
113
Fredericksburg, Va
#7

thomas1

┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
Staff member
Oct 22, 2012
23,293
158,856
113
Fredericksburg, Va
#8
A few good dudes in that thread. Gone but not forgotten.
 

jrepairsk70e

Well-Known Member
Jan 10, 2012
5,212
19,187
113
60
Ulser County N.Y.
#9
I've been driving a F-350 crewcab/8'ft bed for many years ,,,,,quite often I get blocked in by cars either too close next to me ,,or not parked deep enuf in the lane straight behind me ,,,I have perfected the 12 pt turn and have been real close to just pushing these poorly parked jerks out the way wif frt or rear bumper not many cars that could offer a challenge for my 3.5 ton tank !!!:clap::truckin::thumbsup:
 

Sty57

Bucked up fucket pics
Sep 11, 2014
2,096
20,325
113
48
Land of Cheese & Beer
plus.google.com
#10
I was at the store with my wife one time.
There was a woman with the biggest brat I ever had seen.
And he was throwing the biggest temper tantrum that you could hear him through out the store.
This clueless woman was just talking away on here phone....... I could tell the wife was getting mad and knew she was ready to snap.

She told me to stay with the cart and she'd be right back.
Next thing I know she's walking up to the women's cart and throws something in it.
She walked back with a big smile on her face.
I asked what she did........ She threw a box of condoms in her cart and told to next use them.
 

Jimmy in NC

Mill Monkey
Aug 27, 2013
15,475
61,550
113
37
Where tobacco is a vegtable
#11
So sometime last month I picked up my little girl from school and had to stop by the store. I pull into a spot and start to get out when a lady in a Kia careens into the spot next to me, at an impossible angle like the lines on the pavement were just mere suggestions. She sat there oblivious on her phone while I sat there staring a hole through her window. She was parked so jacked up (6" from my daughter's door) that I had to get her out the other side. The whole time I was doing this the mouth breather never looked up, and couldnt be bothered. Needless to say I was seething at this act of self absorbtion but decided not to make a scene, cause you know, kids.

So I went into said store and did my business ( you know, tampax and beer) and exited the store. To my utter amazement a different Kia was parked next to me in an even more egregious fashion and I was beside myself. As I loaded my kid through the wrong door, muttering obscenities, I vowed to leave this second bitch a note. Rummaging around in my glovebox netted me an expired registration and nothing else. Losing my shit at this point I roll away, without justice or recourse.

I vow eternal revenge and as soon as I got home I got on vistaprint and created these, 500 of them showed up a week later:

View attachment 58691
So as a public service, any Hawgger that pms me an addy will get ten of these "civillian parking tickets" in a plain manilla envelope, gratis. Use them with glee and extreme prejudice gentleman.:trophy:

PS, the qr code on the back Rickrolls that ass......
A stupid cunt put a scratch on my crew cab 8 ft box truck tonight at daycare. I was fuming. Like you with two toddlers I refrained from saying filth...but PM inbound!
 

dieselfitter

Aspiring impressionist
Oct 12, 2013
3,963
36,029
113
Hugo, MN
#14
I had to google "rickrolled". lol nice
I once parked close to a car because they parked poorly, on the edge of their parking spot. Only spot available and didn't like the idea of a guy hogging two spots. The guy was pissed. He couldn't get in his car and cussed me out. I pointed out the location of the parking lines, thought to myself gfy and drove off.
 

roberte

little man
Sep 30, 2013
47,825
369,630
113
#18
I'm knot afraid, kids/wife etc, they got it coming I let fly.

That said, I sure don't pretend to be perfect behind the wheel, but god dam hang up and park your car or get the fuck out of the way.
Oh, and give your fucking snowflake a kiss good by before you drop them off at school. 70 mfers are trying to do the same thing but you gotta stop and get out in the traffic lane.

Fuck off